Me and My life.

My name is Manasvi as you have seen; and yes, I am Indian. I live in the well known city at the moment – Mumbai. Having the experience of only 15 years on earth, i guess i know a few very bad things that can happen to one in their lives. Well, i have been through many and would like to share it out with you. You will know me well as i keep writing and you keep reading my blogs.

It was a bright sunny day, with the breeze gently blowing my hair back, I crossed the road to enter the big, strong, black gate of my school. I tried to keep my breath even, but it just refused to, as I walked into the school I saw my friends standing there among a hundred other students with their backpacks and cell phones in hand. I was nervous for the day as it is because of the English presentation that was suppose to begin on that day.

We went up to the class and the day began with the normal lectures. The moment my phone buzzed in my pocket I knew it was Dad from Singapore. I couldn’t pick it up but i wanted to know the results. I excused my self to the washroom and half-ran towards it. As soon as i was inside, I picked the buzzing phone to hear my Dad sobbing on the other end. I knew what was coming. I knew it. I felt numb and couldn’t speak. I din’t know how to react to it, It felt like the world had stopped spinning and had paused. I wanted to stop  the time passing by. I knew the killer was in her now. I din’t want to believe it, but I had to. Tears ran down my face uncontrollably, I couldn’t speak or react. After a while i gathered my self and wiped the tears and walked back to the class slowly. The presentation was just as bad as it could go. I told myself to calm down and time and again a tear ran down my face and I quickly hid it.

The pain was extereme and could no longer stay in. I din’t  know what else was left to happen. Everything around me was normal and all of a sudden I felt dead. No feelings, No pain, No emotions, No control… Just the pain. The pain of the thought of losing my mother. The pain that had crept in my heart by now of tomorrow. The pain wouldn’t go, not for a second. My best friend comforted me as we hugged and cried and cried. I din’t know how to react to it, I hadn’t even thought this was what was coming.

Once back home, I sat in one corner, face in my hands in between my knees and sobbed and sobbed till no more tears would come out. I felt hurt more than anything. It was such a feeling that would just never go, or so I felt at that time. I knew she wasn’t going to live for long, I knew she would be gone in just a few days…or at least a month.

I sat in that corner for a few hours and till my brother came home. I had cried my self to sleep, and woke up on when the door opened. Tears took their place and the big lump took its place in my throat again as he came and hugged me and we both cried holding each other. Nor he or I could believe this was actually happening. I wanted to cry to death, wanted to just die more than anything. The pain in my heart is something that I still cannot forget. The pain, the hurt just went on and on for like.. ages. In the end, no tears came would come out. I had lost almost 7 kgs in less than a month. I needed my mother to be there for me always, and always will need her. That was the time when I realized how much i would need her and how much I love her.

That was the day when i got to know that my mom wasn’t going to survive for more than a month. The cancer had already spread all over and the doctors did not guarantee even a month. That was one moment of my life that I will not forget, no matter what.

I tried so hard to get my self to my normal self, but unfortunately, failed to. This is for all the people who are reading this: Treasure each and every moment of your life that you have spent with your friends and family, you never know what tomorrow would bring for you…

That is all i have to say for my first blog. I have started blogging to share my feelings and story. I feel this is one way i can let my self out of all that pain I am in. I wish and Pray for all those going through the same just now.

Thank you for taking interest in my blog and reading this. It is really appreciated. You are free to e-mail me at: manasvi_05@yahoo.in or leave me a comment on what you think.