Sleep the pain away…

Looking at her sleeping in the cradle of Lord’s arms, I felt peaceful. I felt peaceful for not looking at those sad eyes, for that painful morns, for those beautiful eyes which were to carry nothing else but love and kindness, for those hands which had helped me grow, caught my when I fell, who supported me when the world walked out on me, which were the only support when I couldn’t walk. I want to cry till my eyes cannot shed anymore tears, but that day just doesn’t come. I want to go to her and hug her and cry and cry.. I need to see those eyes and feel those strong arms around me… I just need her so much.. 

 

Sweet smile on your face as you sleep the pain away,
Resting in God’s arms now, although in the ground your body lay.
He needed another angel in the Heavenly choir and that’s why you had to go.
As you promised, you are still with us watching your children here below.

I never would have imagined the end would be like this, me comforting you.
Holding your hand, telling you not to worry was not an easy thing for me to do.
And even in your weakest hour you tried to comfort me too,
Caressing my face, and calming my soul as only a mother can soothe.

You have always been there through the thick and the thin
No matter what I’ve done, unconditionally you love never wavering.
When I told you of the mistakes I made and all the times people saw me fall
You simply nodded and gently replied ‘so have we all’.
The key to success is learning from the past
Ensuring a brighter future is now the present task.

A pillar of strength even until the end
Fighting all life’s battles, knowing it’s triumphantly you would win
Pushing me to be the best that you know I can be
Reminding me to keep the faith and allow God to lead me.
Knowing it’s through Christ that I can do all things
And as He never makes a mistake I will come through victoriously.

I miss you more than these words could ever say
The pain in my heart is from one unimaginable day
After I cried all that I could; my eyes still shed countless more tears
And when I try to sleep, I have nightmares of ten-thousand fears
I walk in footsteps on an unsure path
My load feels so heavy I am not sure I will last.

Silly, though it may be I am afraid of life now that you’re gone
But I promise it’s because I’ve always had a person like you…
And, what about my brother?
I wish you could have stayed just a little while longer, there’s so much left to do
I wonder if I prayed hard enough and if so, did they get through?
Finding relief in knowing I will see you again someday soon
Remembering all you taught me as my soul, I continue to groom
I will walk in footsteps you have walked before me
Seeing the path you walked, guided you, straight into victory.

So as you sleep, in the cradle of the Lord,
I am reassured of God’s promises in His Holy Word.
I dream of the day when Heaven’s gates open to receive me
And with your smiling face and loving eyes, reunited once again I will be.

 I am waiting for the day I can see you again, Mom. I want to be with you and never leave you alone.. I need you to know how much I love you and how much I care… something words even cannot do.. I need to come to you mom, I need to hug you, I need to be with you… For you have been my strength and weakness through my life and would continue to be… For that I love you.. I love you more than anyhing can express. I will never let anything destroy that, not that anything can… Today and yesterday, every minute and every second I think of you… I NEED YOU, MOM! I love you so much.. Why can’t you just come back to me? Come back to this heavenly place with me to enjoy and have a good life? Come back for all those memories to be re-captured? I beg you god, please let her come to me! I miss her so very much… I don’t understand what to do… 

I break down in middle of my presentation, I cry myself to bed, I don’t know what to do.. I need her to be with me… Though I am growing stronger, I need her. I need her to support me just like she use to.. I want her to kiss my forehead before I fall asleep, I need her to shout at me for not putting my things in place… I need her more than anything I could ever want… 

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